To think out of my box

Slowly, as the world pushes you into feeling and behaving like an adult, for me it comes as a whole task to gulp that down. I still feel outcast when my homies call out to the children at home to get some ice-cream at a near by shop, and I’m not among them. You are now supposed to make small talk with any relative you may not like, it is bad to walk away, something you could do as a child. As a child or a teenager, I always resolved to not change much when I grow up. I wanted to remain unbiased towards everything as I was then. But we all know – we grow up to those, our biases, our choices, our comfort zones.

A teacher in my high school once asked us ‘Children, like now you all don’t discriminate amongst each other to be friends on the basis of religion, but when you grow up, why do you change?’. At that point I happened to feel sure, I wouldn’t change, neither will these other teenagers around me. But you know what may have happened by now. Not so much for religion though, I happened to grow to a very strong cultural bias.

It was a mental block created over a period of time to be culturally conservative. Most of the times I hated the culture of taking safe decisions in life rather get any closer to pre-defined risks. I was to opt for a more stable career path like engineering instead of architecture or arts, which did not assure a job in those times. Then after a graduate degree I was supposed to find a job or get married, a possibility of higher education did not occur to us as it was just too much already that I was doing the graduation. With smaller ambitions, put in shape with time, facilitated with least exposure to outer world or other people with bigger ambitions – I graduated. Internet was available then, but not as much as in the metros at that time. And we weren’t boys to get the access if required, cause for them it is justified to seek answers in our culture.

My story goes on just like many other girls here, but the cultural bias how it affects the ambitions we inculcate, is something I often contemplate.

As a teenager, and even in early 20s, watching USA in movies as a place of free-thoughts and free-will, and even having close relatives there, it did not ever excite me to be there. I was a always a independence hungry girl, rebellious in all the ways, but yet culturally curbed. Growing up in India, I always thought the independence I seek, is possible in this country itself, why go abroad ? I thought I just need to be financially independent to get away from parents’ interference in my life. I know, I was naive. Indian parents never will think they have no business with you after you are 18. Since they gave birth to you, they have the right over your life- right until your own children get married or if life is generous, even the grandchildren! after a struggle to find yourself amidst the pressure to get married, even if you succeed to find yourself a career you love, you will, well .. get married one day. All this had not ever occurred to me earlier that making a decision to remain in india and not go abroad will cut down my circle of life to such a small circumference.

It is only after years, when you see the world around you thinking differently about matter, is when it strikes – did I cut down my opportunities to grow?

I have by now spent some years working with Americans or Europeans on various projects, and for a designer’s job, I constantly required to think outside the Indian mindset of things. May be I’m more deeply devoured by the indian-ness than many others, and that is what disgusts me. No matter how I hate playing safe at all times, I’m unconsciously doing so with my career plans or even life plans. I often question myself, had it been different if I took a bold step to go study abroad ? taken the heart to pursue education in what I believed to be the right thing for me ? I’ve always made decisions to stay in this comfort zone, where the terrain and people and their behaviors remain same, no matter what. I’ve always felt the discomfort to move outside it. I still think of all those NRIs I’ve know as someone ignorant and an outsider to culture of this country. I feel proud at times that I know more about my country’s roots that they will ever know or care for. But their life has possibilities that I may not face. They don’t need to feel connected or worried about this country. So is my patriotism just an excuse ? may be it is.

My manager would constantly echo this on our conversations – ‘In America, this is how we do it, you must think on those lines’. I don’t think it applies to my profession, because i’m mostly involved with the web, which is same for the US or India, or is it ? In any case, I do not refer to indian web as much for inspiration or cognition of solutions, as it is plainly not good at it yet. But there are many a times, I happen to think like an indian, the temptations like coming to work and not working, and leaving early. Indians were never very hard working types when they get paid reasonably. Look at the classes of society, the poorly paid work the hardest. Is it the sub-continent weather ? or are we just genetically easy-money hungry ?

Or may be because I’m just an artist and yearn to spend afternoons painting in a huge studio, instead of breaking my head on a corporate software solution. The Business world always brings this feeling of inferiority in me, of being incompetent. It makes me long to go and create a different niche somewhere and stay out of touch – in my box.

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Hindu (Managers’) Stupidity

To begin with, I’m a Hindu myself. This post points to the Hindu community which has a history of not respecting or believing in itself, which vows to remain strikingly stupid!

I have immense respect for this religion, with even its diversities and differences, it has always been a symbol for wisdom. The kind of wisdom where the sciences, mathematics or even Kama-sutra was invented. Out-wardly it proves to be the most tolerant and spiritually gifted clan. Or that is what I want to believe, given my own reasoning. It is also supposedly the birth-giver to the infamous caste-system, which has essentially passed on over to other religions all over India from Hinduism. You don’t believe ? watch this to know, there is caste-system in each and every community in India, because everyone has been converted at some point.

Coming to the point, this community has always been stupid enough to let anybody else lead them, brainwash them. They could never be wise enough to respect their own riches of knowledge or wisdom. They have constantly been raided and looted by invaders over the centuries, coaxed into converting, forced to labor. At least this you believe right ? These however, are facts from the past. They have eventually established the virtues of their gray matter at home and overseas and world-wide. But this, at the cost of a cultural topsy-turvy.

I’m here really angered by those who have soared so high in their careers and societal statures, but never have defended their own culture. I agree the culture has eventually deformed in number of ways, but how many of you know the history of it ? Sadly most of us believe more in the deformations of this rich culture than its original version.

I question all those permanent residents of western countries, how many good things about your culture do you convey to the people abroad? do you think you are entitled enough to bad-mouth your own country in a foreign land? Did it occur to you that you may be mis-informed to make those statements ? Do you realize the purdah-ghunghat system you despise was something induced much later in this culture, and for what reasons ? Can you even tell why Holi or Diwali is celebrated in a certain way ?

Coming to the people residing in India itself. You are a shame if you have never contemplated over the questions above, as if spitting in your own plate wasn’t bad enough, talk about disrespect! You do not respect your own culture. Why am I questioning all this out of nowhere ? It is because years of observation of our metro-city-culture. As the industrialization happened, our constant need for business increased, we transformed from manufacturing industries into MNCs and a dominant IT sector. Now think about the principles how our MNCs work. They clearly disregard your need to be like yourself, sound like yourself, and even wear like you want, so now you can’t of course ask about celebrating your own festivals. Ya I get it, we will do business only how I customer pleases. But tell me, shouldn’t this argument be buried when indian industry has soared those heights world wide? we are known everywhere now, so are our characteristics. Why do we still try to hide them ?

I have everything against the Indian management sector. The Manager, HR or technology or anyone in that managerial position. Why have you never had the damn guts to tell those foreigners that you have a life here! Your need to celebrate ‘Diwali’ is as important as their’s to take a whole month off for ‘Christmas’ ?? We anyway merely ask for a week to celebrate the most important festival, not a month. But denied that too. And why do you argue that the westerners do not have as many festivals to celebrate like indians, when we know none of us even know what half of them are or how to celebrate even a few of them! Why do you never think twice before canceling out a ‘Sankranti‘ or ‘Holi‘ or ‘Dusshera‘ from the holiday list, while easily giving official offs to ‘Good Friday’, ‘Eid’ or ‘Christmas’ holidays ?

I do not wish to start thinking that ‘may be the managers are all non-hindus’, my guess is it can’t be possible. Hindus are still the majority in India and not all managers can be possibly non-hindus to have missed on importance of Hindu festivals. The culprits are hindus themselves, no one else. You constantly try to show off, that it is not important enough for you to be home on Diwali, but you will know exactly when a ‘Thanksgiving’ or a ‘Halloween’ is celebrated. The joke is on you, the young generation now has no clue about our rituals or festivals. They do guess work to even blurt out the names of the important days. On the contrary, they know it all about Christmas, Halloween or Thanksgiving! Infact, they may have never attempted to play ‘Holi’ the way it should be because it isn’t hygienic but will readily agree to do a ‘La-tomatina’ after watching bollywood stars doing it.

Isn’t that is why the English ever were able to rule us ? you thought they were so majestic, wiser than you, and classier, and slowly let them become your rulers. Shame on us, this hasn’t changed. All those NRIs, the westerners know how much you loath your own country and its traditions. I’m aware we have the worst kind of politics in rule, and the culture has deformed into a conservative and narrow-minded body, but how much do you wish to change it?

Did you ever try to get to the roots and see where it got this deformed face ? If you would have, you would never question the beauty of ‘Sankranti’ or ‘Holi’ or ‘Diwali’, you would never keep from expressing its importance to this community. You are plainly killing it in the name of getting business relations.

The Uncouth Indian

As far as I can remember, growing up in this country I have learnt to let the strongly routed patriarchal culture pass through me. It really has come in from a long way, with longer time till it stays, until we may be able to uproot it.

The Indian culture from ancient times, like from the earliest times, suggests a very bold and wise culture, a very open minded settlement. Known as a land of wisdom, where people have come full circle in life to realize the ironies of it, and set their priorities right. Those times are known to have the wisest Rishi-munis and Saints, who had everything figured out. literally! The Vedic texts, the maths, the science .. they just had it all figured. The Chanakya era, known for its progressive lifestyle of a kingdom. From various studies it appears the ancient indian sub-continent was very open-minded about their women, ranging from their influence in the society-to how they dressed. Kama-sutra is one such huge example of the advancement of this society. There are even Sanskrit texts that have stories with women protagonists who were very open about their relationships with men, stuff like extra-maritals and multiple partners. By advancement I mean exactly what you are questioning in your head? a character-less woman ? My stupid dear, what does character mean to you ? I’m certainly not interested in your definitions of character, but for me it is the sole quality of a human to survive at his will, with may be some integrity which won’t involve hurting others. That is all, no amount of relationship graph can possibly define someone’s character.

It occurred in the mid-century where some numb-nuts thought a peaceful world is not good enough. They did not mean to find meaning in life, instead they wanted to take away everyone else’s peace of mind, and control as much as they could. I’m referring to the Alexanders & Mughals who started the trend to invade the peaceful sub-continent. Not that within sub-continent there weren’t negative elements, but most of it was outsiders. I’m basically suggesting we always have the dim-wits who do not get reason or logic.  So these invasions caused the sub-continent to protect their women against assault, they required to hide them and cover them, in order to protect that pride-respect associated with a family or clan.

Up north of India had dramatic changes in the culture of open-mindedness, women could no longer wear single shoulder drapes hugging their bodies, showing off their beautiful curves, no longer bathe in open rivers and ponds and walk out wet to entice strange men. They could no longer be treated as equal to men, as they desperately required protection of men, they could not support or defend themselves, they were refrained from being themselves i.e. being free humans. All this only because the women have a little slit down under, which happens to be creator of life, the biggest power known to this world. Thus, it has been speculated many a times, that a patriarchal society originates from this fear, that if a women can give birth, she can have the greater power. The only way a man finds his solace is by having control over this possible threat to his false-ego – The woman. Constantly over a period of time, women were deprived of gaining wisdom through any means, education or interaction, were continually made to believe they were the weaker sex, they can’t survive without the stupid Adam. And c’mon! we have this woman in all of us. What? you don’t agree? you definitely need a man to control that thought about independence. Without a man , you are nothing, at least in this country. (being sarcastic.. duh!)

And of course, the men have continually been taught to be all-mighty and the big power all this while. Why are you disappointed if you yourself have been participating in this. All women I’ve known have constantly believed in themselves to be something to be protected, and fearing if its intruded upon. Its all these women.. our mothers, our grandmothers, mother-in-laws who constantly instruct their daughters and daughter-in-laws to behave in certain ways in order to protect that imaginary and glorified pride. This Pride has been over-rated, over centuries.

Why a woman’s pride must be tagged to that of an entire Clan or family ?

why is she constantly burdened to be carrying that weight, even though she is supposed to be weakest of all others ?

why is she made to feel ashamed if she lost that pride due to an un-called for event ?

Why must she feel she is capable of losing her pride at all, or anyone else’s ?

Ask yourself, and I hope this generation of mothers or grandmothers who have instilled this belief in us are reading such posts online, to reflect upon themselves, their education, the values they pass on to their daughters. What about sons? you definitely wouldn’t instill good values in your son if you haven’t for your daughters.

You are the culprit. You always let other’s interest stand over your own self-respect. You always have been dumb enough to let them make you weaker. This is because of your slight need for comfort or may I say .. laziness. Of course you like to be treated as a princess.. just like men like to be the King, but don’t you think you need to have some pride of your own to go with it ?

Men have succeeded in making you believe that his pride is a natural occurrence and yours isn’t. You are someone who just needs to follow his pride and lose yours on the way. That isn’t collaboration, that is slavery. Giving the argument about being physically weaker than men, is another scam. Eat well, and keep trained, nothing with a hanging organ can ever do anything to you. Not even when you are leaking with red.

It saddens me to have such mothers and mother-in-laws myself. In my mid-twenties my mother had once instructed me to protect my virginity, as she thought it was horrendous to lose it to someone you won’t marry. Many social stigmas behind that, that you can’t question. My mother-in-law constantly wants me to cover my face and hide in the back-room of the house, as people outside the house may just have a glimpse of me, and since I hold the pride of the household, no free-shows! The Karwa Chauth being the most dim-wit kind of fast invented by the north indians. I mean why in the world must I refrain from food and water for an entire day for the husband ? for that matter Roza for Ramzan sounds better, as then you fast in the name of God atleast. oh oh .. the husband is supposed to be our God you mean ? .. ah now I get that. well ..fuck that! And if I do not fast for your son, it is a matter of worry for you, because it possibly holds a threat to his long life is it ? ohh.. poor that you actually believe that crap. I’m a women, I can control birth of a life, not finish it. duh.

That does it. I do not mean to carry any dim-witted cultural stigmas and rituals into the next generation. I quit being this weak woman. What happened in Delhi lately, will not change unless you stop being so fearful of it. The man needs to be shown, he possibly cannot make you lose pride. He is not capable of it. And certainly that little tool he has hanging below, isn’t actually a tool that can destroy someone.

Scrolls of love..

In olden times, at a difficult time..

in a mall I trolled…

But with e-comm online

I just sit there pretty, and scroll….

I was as usual watching the re-runs of SatC, and the ‘zsa zsa zoe’ episode was running, my husband points out (since I make him suffer through those re-runs daily, humoring that goes on in the show is his only resort) – for you this ‘zsa zsa zoe’ feeling doesn’t exist right ? or you’ve probably just lost that kind of feeling for fashionandyou or something *laughs*

‘zsa zsa zoe’ was the term used by Carrie Bradshaw of SatC, for a certain feeling of being in love with someone so much as to have butterflies in your stomach, be nervous .. and those sort of works!

The reason why my hubby cracked that joke on me was because he has found no sparks in me like it is expected out of an newly wed (or what he knows about a normal girl). He isn’t wrong actually. On an average, India breeds women with dreams of a perfect marriage, she will be assumed to be very nervous for her first encounter with dear husband, be loving and shy in most aspects. It would be normal for her to react immaturely to the usual problems of a new relationship, specially with a new person, in a new home. Marriage is her only encounter at all, any other kind of relationship in her life is a taboo. Post-marriage hanky-panky isn’t relevant to my point here. A pre-marriage relationship however, oh well.. lets not refer to it like that. sounds so crime-like! So in case you happen to be in any kind of serious relationships which did not turn into marriage, so even when you find the butterflies passé, you will require to hold a kind of veil on it, not all the time, but in some places for sure. And not for anybody else, but for your ease to handle, this life in a country like India.

I wouldn’t say I face a strained relationship with him, or he does, but he doesn’t give much a shite about whether I’m the shy type first-timers or not, that is why we are here. However, apart from that, my point here is about how we are supposed to have a certain interest and excitement to be in a new relationship, where you have actually forgotten yourself, you think of someone above you, so much so that you wait, decide, think ..in terms of the other person. I agree, this is what a marriage is like, and it should be. Love is self-less. But I admit, I do not fulfill those clauses as much till now, I try, but there is certain selfishness I retain, a certain lost-into-myself aura, which somehow I feel is my strength..keeps me together, in touch with myself.

Bleh.. I’m in no mood to get spiritual here. To be precise, love, the concept, bores me. to death. I’ve always thought and believed love was a decision to make. You decide to be in love, or step out. What you feel inside you, an attraction or longing may just be circumstantial, and no body stops you from acting over those feelings, so do them, but don’t ever fool yourself to be actually allowing yourself to be carried away to make decisions like, well.. Love. My bluntness does not mean I’m not in love. I do mushy stuff, but as a joke 🙂 but with that humor is how I show love.

However, I was talking about what makes butterflies in my stomach jump. As far as I remember from old times, it was some teenage time when the idea of love could have made me feel that. It is the fetish for material things now. I do not get why women make such a fuss about entering 30s, all of them, and mind you, all of those cool and wise women out there are or beyond that golden age! You will never hear a 24 something speaking anything wise or even the witty quotes.

Often my man asks me ‘what is with you girls and shoes and all these clothes!’ – that is happiness, in its rights. For we have realized the key, it is not others you find the answers to life, it is in yourself. When you dream to fall in love, first remember to be in love with yourself. And not necessarily it has be about looking good, that is just a customized interest with some of us.

I love shopping…And thanks to e-shopping booming finally here in india.. hip hip hurray for the sites of fnyRoojaZovi and myntra.. so many more wannabes ..

Wake me up when December ends..

It is that time of the year again, when in the past years of growing I was full of anticipation.. whether my life is going to change? something fun? something important? where I clearly hoped the year to let me broadcast a special news to everyone, the kind of news all friends in circle already had. To meet someone special.

It took me to lose a couple of years of my life to stupid-love to get enlightened with my powers. That golden enlightenment I faintly remember to possess in my teenage, which later got over-ridden by the love-bug, and was sort of over-shadowed by some of what you call the libido. I have usually been slow in growing to the truths of life, but those few years were strikingly dark and lost. But that is not what I find fun talking about. It is that golden time that followed. The neutral state of mind. The fearlessness, the carelessness. You do not fear of what may result, you care less of making mistakes.

After my 1st break-up, I dived directly into what you call a suicide attempt of a rebound relationship. But this time I was aware of myself. I was selfish. I knew it was for my own benefit and not the other person involved. During this time I took the liberty to travel as much as I could. It is a tried and much recommended therapy world-wide for self-discovery. It is a great way to get the sense of the universe, its rules.

I was constantly traveling that December, and fooling around with a friend. He may be too, but that is not the point. My travel was across the length and breadth of India, some alone, some with family or friends. A complete month, that adrenaline-pumping December! It all ended by the 30th, and the 31st went lazing at a relative’s, helping into their home chores. I wasn’t even bothered to ask them about their new year eve plan. Being in New Delhi! getting to a party was the last thing on my head. By evening, I was tucked away in the bed watching ‘Alice in Wonderland’. I love those dreamy concepts, and with johnny Depp! It was perfectly cold in Delhi, at 2 degrees I was buried under a 10 kg blanket for a drunk sleep through to the new year day. I called up my folks an hour early before Eve, wished them and switched off my phone. I didn’t want anyone to wish me, show they care. I did the bit to show care to the bare minimum people that mattered.  Next day I only thought about calling my then boy-friend by afternoon, he was still awake since he was in the US, 1st night had not closed into morning yet. He was disappointed, as he tried to wish me on eve and couldn’t, while I was having the evil laugh in my head. I even had forgotten to call my first cousin who lived in the next lane, who later scolded me to have missed a chance to a good party he could’ve taken me to.

I do this often, choose to be on my own than get into a party place (unless its some really good friends). It is not the sadistic pleasures I get from disappointing people, it is simply that (if I may say) magical state of mind you achieve, where nothing so matters to you which may actually be pointless. Something like worrying about someone expecting from you, and you think of it as a duty to abide by. Most of the times it is just your imagination that someone has those expectations. This is true for women, they usually do things more for others than themselves. That is where we need to learn from men. They never feel answerable if they didn’t do what you expected, why must we? As the saying goes – “when you can’t beat them, join them!”. It is a better choice to become like men in behaviors, you are happier, fuss-free.

While this new years eve had no longing in me for someone special around, I was completely merry that I had finally become free of the need, to want companionship, to dream of ending up. Who wants to end up ? Life must be an unplanned adventure. and you make it happen if you take chances, make mistakes. I was in a relationship that we both knew wasn’t going somewhere, long distance added to my advantages. This time it did not hurt to be single. I had more plans going on, more possibilities for life in front of me. And I was sure I wanted the freedom for couple more years before I got married.

An Indian girl is brought up in a very tight mind-set, we hardly ever get opportunity to think beyond marriage as our destiny. That may not be true for a generation a decade younger to me, and I’m happy for it. So in that case, the free mind, is a great achievement. As this year began, I was not hoping to find the special one, even though my parents did not spare me from speaking to a lot more strangers, but it was cool. I knew what I was up to, and thats all that should matter, as long as you can face yourself. It was a marvelous year, different.

But the someone special did come by in that very year, and later next year we got married. Since then many hopes and dreams have gone down the drain. I was hoping for some more time, of my newly acquired golden freedom. Anyway, now the nature of your hopes is supposed to change. Somehow, I do not see that happen to me. I still dream of same adventures, knowing new people.. and for that matter some cute ones ;). An affair is not in question, for that you need to be good looking, definitely not fat. I’m not heading right in both ways. Career wise I am doing fine, I will soon own more of the useless assets of the world with the money I’d have, and then get buried down by them to have no choice, but to settle.

Settling down, it has always scared me, but you can’t stay away from it, not when you are far from alone.

But the problem this year remains the same, there is no way for me to plan something nice. All the places you ever know of are over-booked and taken. and just having someone special beside you on the eve, does not help have my way of fun 🙂

Something wrong with the rights

We all know the world is going haywire, there are more humans than planned for and more human acts causing danger to this unique (self-declared) planet. In this context, I happened to notice some peculiarly obvious cases of ‘things in the wrong place’. These wrong things apparently however aren’t wrong to the makers or the doers, as they look at it as ‘the right thing to do’.

I’m here to question some of those decisions out there.

I’m from India, and we all here have seen this rapid progressively building concrete jungle over the last few decades. Most of this in the progressive cities where the IT boom has taken over, where you have more offices, more computerization of the systems, more need for those closed, tinted, air-conditioned rooms. As I may assume, it might have all started with the heat factor of the tropical region, a computer needs to be protected from the weather, later on mis-interpreted as a luxury fact for the ever-westernization-hungry country. By the way, about that, we Indians have always been fascinated with the western cultures, no – not the modern way of thinking, we plan to remain ancient in our thinking for more centuries (my previous post), but we like the way they do everyday stuff. You know, air-conditioned offices, houses, buses, trains, even the fucking bus stand or train stations for god-sakes! and then jazzy gadgets to keep everything in life just a button away, all automatic, luxurious ways of life. Oh! I forgot to mention food, we like what the westerners eat or drink, even if it is the silliest decision ever to substitute coke for water..duh. We are so crazy about it, that we can line up at the country’s only newly opened Starbucks outlet, there is this double-joke on us too. Am I off the point ? nope, just creating the picture of our minds.

So we want all this, we want our cities and airports to look like Vegas. I mean who wants those Banyans, Peepals, Gulmohars or many other leafy broad trees around, we’d instead replace them with 1% of it for some artificial, manually planted, non-shelter giving, manicured, called-so-for-the-heck trees! I’m always incredibly saddened by looking at those stupid Palm trees there at Airport campuses, IT Parks and the 5 or 7 Stars. Palm trees ? whoever came up with those ideas. We have coconut trees too, what about them ? I’m seriously disappointed in the landscape artists involved with them. It could be also true, that like many aesthetically gifted people  in this country, they get a lot of flak for being right. They are usually pressurized by this ‘upper management’ to do the IN-THING, so because they have the power, they think they know best, in reality when the only this they have is the MONEY, and no vision.

Ok leave the gardens, they barely are part of the landscapes anymore anyway. Lets look at the buildings. Now whoever came up the idea of those Glass borne structures, providing unnecessary heat to overall environment around them and requiring huge amount of air-conditioning to counter the former. If you give me the argument, they are easier to build, you can please take a shot in the head. Just to save some money, and be richer faster, there is this in-human clan of humans, that took such decisions. Decisions that are costing the coming generations a self-sufficient eco-system, which cannot be restored that easily. AFAIK, these ugly structures were first built by the IT companies, and they are still famous for humongous structures, and they are regretting some, for the maintenance and cost..lol !

Which un-informed Architect would have first suggested these structures, they eat so much electricity and resources for maintenance.. Why do we always take the resources for granted? Why do we think, the air, the water, the trees will always be at our service ’cause they ought to be? Clearly, they have depleted beyond our imagination.

Also not to forget to mention, the Indian Art and style of architecture has been surrendered to these ugly buildings. Sad. We are losing identity.

The f***ing Indian mentality

It defies every logic how the indian mentality works, especially the men here. Its been too many years I’ve faced that mentality, and even though it angers every bit of the woman in me, the truth is, you can not , just simply cannot do anything to change the way things have been.

In the past few years, with more social network tools available online, more women have found ways to come out in the open, express themselves and be what they actually are. For some it works just as good as another way of life, while for some it is indeed another life, may be a life that is not otherwise possible for them to live.

We’ve had many writers, female ones, writing freely about anything and everything unconventional, unacceptable in this very conservative society, winning awards and accolades worldwide, but recognized by a much smaller clan which is relatively free amongst this closed-minded community. They still do ofcourse face resilience from the regular crowd, this crowd I’m talking about, never is willing to change. There are so many women, the famous, recognized, respected on various platforms, who have always spoken their minds. But then among them are the ones who do not believe in being conservative or even acting like one, who aren’t afraid of speaking their mind, in other words will not fear from acting as free as men. Its a twisted mind-set. Its okay if a guy leches about the opposite sex in public, just try a woman doing that in public, for that matter, on a social network, and there are eyebrows raised. Well, there is nothing unique about that observation, I know. What bothers most is however, on a social network ? is it even necessary to bother if someone acted like herself online ? each and everyday, I witness how on these social networks, women have to face offensive messages and comments, just because they happened to be, well, themselves. Be it celebrities like Gul Panag (a well known actor and celebrity), Tasleema Nasreen (a renowned Writer), or any regular women, who like to just speak out whats in their mind, giving a fuck about how they’d be judged.

Being judged…well, that still drives even the most educated, or the most famous people to speak their mind in a certain way, they all go through a certain censorship exercise in their head before they post something on a public platform. But those aren’t the kind of women I’m talking about here. Its the fearless ones who matter, who know there will be a backlash, but that is exactly what they do not give a fuck about.

If we leave alone celebrities, and look at regular women who do not mind making offensive and bold comments (as per indian standards) on a public platform like twitter, the kind of responses aren’t generally warm. But if you come to talk of twitter, crude and abusive responses is what given to not just regular general female public, but celebrities too.

It is amusing how these men, who merely have read something on the internet, from a certain unknown person, most possibly a woman, are capable to being angered by the freedom of expression they happened to portray. If she happens to simply be writing about whats on her mind all day, stuff like what she listens to or what she drank or who she found hot ..bam! the egos are hurt, and a judgement is passed. Slut!

So. These amazing species a.k.a Indian Men, have some really really admirable qualities. And they are not specific to a sun-sign or a region, they are just the same everywhere. Even if they lived away from India for long, some elements do not leave them for life. It varies at different levels of eccentricity for that logic they apply. Some of them –

  • They tend to judge a woman’s character, by how she just behaved
  • oh, I just realized there are so many types of judgements, that we can’t cover in points. :-/

will write about that in detail some other time.

  • well, here goes some more.. they do not believe a girl even requires to express herself, as in they study with them, work at offices with them, comes to parties with them, adventure trips..still it really amuses them if you happen to have the gut(read dick) to think and speak up in an unconventional manner.
  • Oh, and some are even idiotic enough to assume, ‘that if she is so free in her mind, she might as well be free to go to bed with anyone, and of course she wouldn’t mind being called a slut. duh..simple math’  – such amusing logic!

There are more fun-facts I know that I know, but need to think over to put down. later!

I’ve personally known some fucks like that, sometime, may be in last life or something, but these creatures are really amusing, really. beats every reasoning in anyone of us, that why, god why, do they have the balls to be like that.

more sooner..